so i guess the world fell apart, huh things have been very very bad here, actually. i am actually incredibly depressed and lonely and the thought of doing anything or being anything is just – hard. it’s so hard. i was getting to the point of being okay and then All Of This happened, and […]
Category Archives: life of ry
food stuff: stuff with food
(tw disordered eating, food talk) i went off brain meds, which has been a really weird and confusing trip; a big thing is that i don’t… quite know what my appetite is doing, actually. i accidentally tripped a food tripwire i didn’t know i had and started restricting really weirdly, so i’ve been trying ~intuitive […]
a minor post surgery note
i had some bonus bleeding on the right side of my chest and there is a hard little lump of tissue there and it’s going to be there for a while and every now and again i’ll lean up against something and it’ll stick me in the hard lump and i will not really notice […]
weird shit i bought in the hopes it would make me feel better while looking for a job:
extremely minimalist running shoes (fix your form, fix your ENTIRE life) tickets to japan for new year’s (if i don’t get a job i might as well be sad in japan, right?) cat toys (a big hit) cat harness (a complete and utter failure that nubs didn‘t forgive me for for like 48 hours) so […]
netiquette
…….as a side note, everyone else in the webring is a lot less blog-chatty than i am, which i simultaneously feel self conscious about and also I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable; I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world. walt whitman (on a semi-related note, i have […]
adventures in ???passing???
i see my face a bunch of times every single day, and i hear my voice all the time, and it’s very hard to tell if i look or sound different i get directed to the men’s bathroom now, though, and i listened to a recording of my voice and was legitimately surprised how i […]
superstar.
voice testing for dummies
so — i know T is doing SOMETHING, i just don’t know WHAT. i’m in this body all the time 24/7, so from my perspective, i can tell my voice is lowER, but not how low. my deeply embarrassing judge for whether or not i’m passing has become whether or not i get harassed in […]
just little masculinized chest things
i used to think that i was agoraphobic, or like — agoraphobic because of depression and anxiety, or lazy, or SOMETHING; turns out it might have just been dysphoria the whole time? it’s so easy to just toss a t-shirt on and go outside without the bone-deep tiredness that would come over me every single […]
bad news
so i’m gonna have to find a new job soon :’) my whole section of my company is getting shut down. it’s about the nicest possible layoff, in that i have literal months to get a new job and management is actively trying to help us all get new gigs, but also: jesus, welp. i […]