so — i know T is doing SOMETHING, i just don’t know WHAT. i’m in this body all the time 24/7, so from my perspective, i can tell my voice is lowER, but not how low. my deeply embarrassing judge for whether or not i’m passing has become whether or not i get harassed in […]
Author Archives: rystar.today
just little masculinized chest things
i used to think that i was agoraphobic, or like — agoraphobic because of depression and anxiety, or lazy, or SOMETHING; turns out it might have just been dysphoria the whole time? it’s so easy to just toss a t-shirt on and go outside without the bone-deep tiredness that would come over me every single […]
Book Reviews – “The Hidden Life of Trees”, by Peter Wohlleben; “Shrill”, by Lindy West; “Amateur”, by Thomas Page McBee
“amateur” completely wrecked me tbh. it’s a memoir by the first trans man to box at madison square garden. he talks about manhood and masculinity and what it means, exactly, to Be A Man, and how to be a good man; it included touching on some stuff that is really close to the bone for […]
book review: “Rx”, by Rachel Lindsay, and “The Abaddon”, by Koren Shadmi
comics comics comics i had an hour to kill at the evanston public library, so i read some comics.
bad news
so i’m gonna have to find a new job soon :’) my whole section of my company is getting shut down. it’s about the nicest possible layoff, in that i have literal months to get a new job and management is actively trying to help us all get new gigs, but also: jesus, welp. i […]
sports writing
i enjoyed these articles; you might too The Hike: John Muir In a Week, by Michael Lanza one of my niche interests is reading about other people doing ultralight backpacking trips, and then not doing that. To Win an Ultramarathon, You Need a Devil to Chase, by Colin Daileda i love reading about ultramarathons. i […]
some things to read from the internet
The Crane Wife, by CJ Hauser (tw for abusive relationships) — about leaving behind a relationship, and about studying cranes Here is what I learned once I began studying whooping cranes: only a small part of studying them has anything to do with the birds. Instead we counted berries. Counted crabs. Measured water salinity. Stood […]
creative writing
I DID IT, I FINISHED MY LONGEST FIC EVERRRRR 58k words baybee!!! jjba, part 5, giomis, a heist and also tons of pining B) i’m very, very proud of myself! i originally wrote this as a nano novel in 2017. i did actually finish the rough draft in november; the remaining year and a half […]
top surgery: the movie: the novel
i got top surgery 2019 june 26th with dr. alison shore at advocate illinois masonic. please be aware: i’m including photographs of my chest, including some of the gnarlier bruising. there are no photos of my accursed flesh opened up or anything, but be forewarned.
woo
i’m slowly going Full Woo, so today i did my first tarot spread! i did a simple 3-card spread around problems the nature of my problem: 9 of pentacles, inverted — self-worth, over-investment in work. that sounds about right — one of the bigger issues right now is my inability to chill out and work […]