a thing about cis hetero relationships

man i tell u what, it fucks me up sometimes to think about how many cis hetero men can talk a big game about being equal partners in a relationship and then just — aren’t?

a friend was talking about the constant low-level scanning for things to put away, which — yeah; to some extent, being “a clean person” is just having the wherewithal to pay attention

(which, fwiw, i am not great at; i have to be careful when i bring things into my apartment because wherever i put them down tends to be where they live forever. in particular, i am Bad at putting away dirty clothes; at any given time, that’s the #1 thing making my place messy or uncluttered. i’m pretty good at making sure things aren’t dirty, like, food waste always gets put away and my kitchen is clean, but clutter is very hard for me)

it’s not ALL men, but also the men for whom it seems to not be true tend to be men who were in the military or men who actually had to fend for themselves for long periods of time? like, my dad would have crossed himself and spat if i’d ever called him a feminist, but my dad was also the one who taught me to clean as i cooked, to grab a glass out of my bedroom when going up for a meal, to take one or two items with you when you go from room to room, that sort of thing. meanwhile, “feminist” men who know the right words often ime can’t or won’t do the same. it’s — weird.

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