(tw disordered eating, food talk) i went off brain meds, which has been a really weird and confusing trip; a big thing is that i don’t… quite know what my appetite is doing, actually. i accidentally tripped a food tripwire i didn’t know i had and started restricting really weirdly, so i’ve been trying ~intuitive […]
Monthly Archives: September 2019
the thing is — i am fundamentally too fucked in the head to have the sort of relationship i would like to have? i’m afraid of people, i want to have sex with someone but the thought of actually doing it is terrifying (not least of all bc — not only do i have non-standard […]
for your reading pain
here are two things i read recently that gave me an emotion; you may also feel an emotion as well. “motherless by choice“, by katie naum There is no easy way to say, “I’m estranged from my mother.” It’s even harder to say, “I’ve cut my mother out of my life,” clarifying that you are […]
a minor post surgery note
i had some bonus bleeding on the right side of my chest and there is a hard little lump of tissue there and it’s going to be there for a while and every now and again i’ll lean up against something and it’ll stick me in the hard lump and i will not really notice […]
weird shit i bought in the hopes it would make me feel better while looking for a job:
extremely minimalist running shoes (fix your form, fix your ENTIRE life) tickets to japan for new year’s (if i don’t get a job i might as well be sad in japan, right?) cat toys (a big hit) cat harness (a complete and utter failure that nubs didn‘t forgive me for for like 48 hours) so […]
book review: “Priestdaddy”, by Patricia Lockwood
man i don’t know that i can actually write the review i want to write? it’s one of the many weird things about having a dead dad, that talking about the things i wish were different about my dad feels like a betrayal. so — who knows. one day i’ll write a proper review! in […]