I DID IT, I FINISHED MY LONGEST FIC EVERRRRR 58k words baybee!!! jjba, part 5, giomis, a heist and also tons of pining B) i’m very, very proud of myself!
i originally wrote this as a nano novel in 2017. i did actually finish the rough draft in november; the remaining year and a half was editing, with breaks for things like “quitting my job and blowing my life up” and “being very sad a bunch”. i learned a lot of things while writing this, and i’m proud of it, even if there are things i would change in retrospect!
i also did a 3-card draw for past/present/future wrt creative writing.
past – 10 of swords — painful endings, deep wounds, loss
i had a couple of friendships that were predicated on creative endeavors fall apart. one in particular still kind of fucks me up — i thought we were really close, until she spent several months blowing me off when i tried to do things with her. she was also a friend in a specific fandom, and unfortunately losing that friendship also meant losing some of my love for the fandom as well — it sucks to be reminded that a friend doesn’t want to have much to do with you.
present – page of pentacles, inverted — lack of progress, procrastination, learning from failure
i’ve felt really dried up recently! this sort of feeds on itself — a lack of progress -> procrastinating -> not learning from it -> a lack of progress. this isn’t ideal!
plus, i have a tendency when things aren’t going well to just — stop trying. obviously, this isn’t exactly great when you’re trying to get back in the groove.
future – temperance — balance, moderation, patience, purpose
this is a bit on the nose, huh?
in general, i need to be patient with myself — i think i learn this about me vs creative pursuits once a year, but. just because it’s not going as easily as usual doesn’t mean it’s not going ever.
additionally i need to actually balance my creative needs with emotional needs, and balance creative endeavors that are social vs doing things because i want to. being thoughtful about how i balance personal satisfaction with fandom and external validation is always a good idea!