i’m slowly going Full Woo, so today i did my first tarot spread!
i did a simple 3-card spread around problems
the nature of my problem:
9 of pentacles, inverted — self-worth, over-investment in work. that sounds about right — one of the bigger issues right now is my inability to chill out and work in a productive way that doesn’t burn me the fuck out.
the tower, inverted — personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster. my last job was Real Bad and has given me some fucked up habits, including the terror i’ll get fired at any second; in general, my fear around this career change and what it means, and my defensiveness over every job related thing spells DISASTER, makes work a real exciting adventure in fear instead of what it is
the world, inverted — seeking personal closure, short-cuts, delays. if i want to get better i’m going to have to genuinely release the past and make my peace with the fact that i’ve left this old job. there isn’t a quick and easy shortcut to becoming a Real Software Engineer, i’m just gonna have to keep plugging! stop trying to take a shortcut to Becoming A Real Software Engineer
i need to learn to shuffle better. also, i really have to stop being so weird about my job — i mean, i’m not wrong in thinking that a big helpful thing would be to stop acting like my job is going to transmogrify into my old terrible job. …also practice more ruby.